To the victims of the latest suicide attacks in Kabul

Booooom! The horrible and terrifying sound of explosion bangs you, your ears jingle and you don’t know if you are okay or not. You see crowds rushing away and there is dust and smoke going upwards into the sky. You hear ambulance sirens followed by the vehicles of police and intelligence forces. Your own mouth hangs open; you know nothing about what is happening. You once again check your body and ask yourself, am I really completely fine?

While your ears continue to jingle and you smell smoke, dust and human blood, other people run away or wail and cry. The policemen shout to the crowd to leave and spread out, and you thank God that you were safe this time. You make your way home with uncertain steps. If there is another explosion what will happen to you, will you still be safe and alive? Who knows except God?

The images still bother you, even when you are in your bed, which should be your most comfortable and safe place. You remember the innocent women and children who had no fault and no sin, no mistake and no enmity with anyone, who were killed before your eyes just a few meters away from you. Where you could have been killed too!

You start thinking, and you think and think until the next morning arrives, but you never find a reason why these innocent people were killed or who could be responsible for this cruelty. You begin the next day with no guarantee or assurance of your safety for even a moment. How long will you live? Will another explosion hit you today? Will it hurt or kill you? God knows. This kind of life is like a house in water; at any time the flood can come and take it away and destroy it.

It is one side of the coin to be an ordinary person living in Afghanistan, but when you are an artist, a writer, a journalist, a VJ or a filmmaker you are more at risk than an ordinary person. You feel more responsibility than the ordinary men of your society. Your passion is to take your weapon, which is a pen, and use it for the welfare of the other living beings in your society. Instead of thinking only about who is responsible for these crimes, you go further and find solutions—maybe some ways to prevent and stop all this bloodshed. You come to the point of writing about it, making a play about it, or making a film about it, creating your own depiction of the cruelty of suicide attacks.

Then you have to begin building a story about it. Day and night you write, and finally you complete your story and adapt it into a screenplay, a screenplay ready to shoot! But then you need funds and support to film your written screenplay. You look for different sources to get your film funding. You think it might be better to look for it further from home, so you decide to go oversees, to another land. You travel to a land that you have never seen before, hoping to meet some people who can help you realize your thoughts and your vision, and deliver your message to your nation.

This still would not be enough. You have to advertise your film wherever possible: in your blog, on your website, in the newspapers, with your friends, on television when you have an interview, and wherever else you can reach. Then you return to your homeland with full hands, but what you receive are curses instead of rewards!

You are faced with terror, with intimidation, with the threat of death! This is the end, you think. You have lost everything: your family, your home, your people, your comfort, your wealth, your life...But in the dark, when everyone else is asleep and you are still thinking about it, you hear a voice saying: No! Never give up! This is not the end; indeed this is the beginning of a new stage of life, a new way of living. Just keep going and going, you will obtain what you want and achieve your goals.

You are confused. Who could have told you all this? Maybe God? No! You are not a prophet, that God tells you things. Maybe it was an angel, or maybe it was your heart. But it doesn’t matter at all, because you will begin your next day full of hopes and you will take your steps more firmly. Tomorrow is brighter than today, because by then the blind-minded suicide bombers will be regretful of the wrong way they have followed and will feel the fire of hell.

"Treasure in the Ruins" screening at Milano Film Festival

"Treasure in the Ruins" was screened in the 12^th edition of the Milano Film Festival, held from Sept. 14 to 23, 2007 in Milan, Italy. After attending the EIUC summer school and Venice International Film Festival, Amin Wahidi traveled around Italy to meet with different people involved in arts and cinema.

When arrived at the Milano Film Festival on Sept. 14, the festival had already set its screening schedule weeks beforehand.

Fortunately, being a hopeful young filmmaker Wahidi was well received by the director of the festival, Mr. Beniamino Saibene, and his staff. He spent two days in the festival directors' house. Finally, his film was picked for an Aug. 16 screening in the Stranglehold Room of Milan’s Parco Sempione.

Called the Salon des Refuses, this screening area is set aside for the festival’s non-competition and late-arriving films. This part of the festival is an important platform, being within reach of unknown and underground directors.

Screening both short and feature films, the Milano Film Festival is smaller than the Venice International Film Festival in size, but is much more interesting and useful for young, lesser-known filmmakers. This year the festival was accompanied by musical performances.

Another interesting thing about the Milano Film Festival is the participation of many volunteers from different countries as helpers and facilitators. This distinguishes the Milano festival from the other ones in Italy.

Deedenow Cinema is keen to take part in future editions of this film festival by volunteering in some of the activities and sending their films (on time) to the festival.

From Italy Back to Kabul with Enthusiasm or With Fear?

Soon I will be going back home. I think life is hard and harsh sometimes. When we face censorship, difficult sometimes. When we cannot work as we want, being threatened; sometimes when not sleeping at all the whole night because of threats and intimidation, but still very lovely and very sweet with all the harshness and difficulties in my lovely Afghanistan. And I am happy to carry new experiences to my hometown for the other young Afghan filmmakers.

The first day I arrived in Venice, Italy I was really impressed, seeing a whole city in water with ancient buildings existing from centuries back, in the same brownish color with many ships and boats and tourists in this city.

Seeing many tourists I thought it may have been nice not only for me, but maybe every new visitor would have the same feeling as me.

But after one week when I got used to the beauty of the city, I was very busy with lessons, the Venice Film Festival and did not have time for real enjoyment of the city. I still enjoyed the workshop itself, meetings with famous and well-known filmmakers of the world and the film screenings at the festival.

Later on, when I received the comment from the horrible “almujahid” on my blog and his email in my mailbox it was really a bang for me which shocked me with fear.

And thereafter I did not enjoy anything at all in Venice, except talking with my parents and family members on the phone about their safety and security.

This became a real trouble I felt, which made me a bit sad among the other participants of the workshop and led me towards loneliness and thinking in the bathroom under the shower for the rest of the days.

And now when getting ready to leave Italy back to Kabul, I break my heart into two halves, keep one half in Italy, and take the other with me back to my homeland. The one remaining in Italy will contain memories of EIUC Summer School professors, students, the directors I met in Venice Film Festival and friends I made especially there. The other part will be in my hometown, with my family, with my friends back at home in the middle of dust, fire and hardships.

Now on I have started imagining the moment when my plane will be landing in Kabul, what will exactly happen to me? Will I really be killed as soon as I arrive there? Or will I have some time more to survive and live? Well, God knows better, but I still believe that will definitely happen and nobody can escape or stop it when something is already written in my fate and predestination! May be for me it is written, death at 25 caused by writing something about the Taliban and making a film about them?!

The worst things trickle in my mind are the questions; what will happen to the rest of my plans that I already made if I die this soon? Who will take care of my family? What will happen to education of my younger brothers? Who will represent the Academy of Art of Afghanistan?

Who will manage the international coordination of young Afghan filmmakers? Of course there will be someone to do all these things instead of me one day, but how long will it take?

How many more years will be spent that all these things would shape from the beginning which already took me at least four years to reach this level?!

About my family I do not care if I die, they may less suffer because of me and my activities and my second brother will take care of the family after me. But I worry about my bigger tasks, the responsibilities that I undertook for my society for the young Afghan filmmakers, Academy of Arts, Radio television programs and many other bigger tasks.

Sometimes I go thinking, I am walking in the streets of Karte Sey right in Pol e Sorkh cross road where I get off the bus and go to my work in NDI every morning. I imagine I am in the ground floor of Maiwand Restaurant where I and Mehdi (my friend who nowadays works on a documentary about Afghan journalists in danger) sometimes went there for tea or juice drinks and discussed our film works.

Sometimes I imagine that I am in Pohanzaye Honarhaye Zeba with my friends and classmates (The Fine Arts Faculty of Kabul University) where I study cinema and theatre night shift there. But you know all imaginings are not more than blinking pictures in one’s mind, nothing else I can do except repeat them in my mind.

And now when I remember the time when I was departing from Kabul to Italy, I posted the information about our trip titled “from Kabul to Venice with message of brotherhood” and now when I am moving back towards Afghanistan I am carrying good memories of Italy but with fear of being killed.

Now let’s go back to Kabul. I am sure if I live longer when I go back, soon I will start working on my numerous projects including the important one “The Keys to paradise” for which I was already seriously threatened to death; but still no worries.

So sorry to take your time, but want to tell you what I will be doing within one to two next years;

The project proposals that I submitted to the EIUC Summer School I attended recently are short documentaries about freedom of expression titled “ Afghan Diaries.” I have a short and a feature fiction film about the suicide attacks of the Taliban for which I am still looking for co-producers.

Want to remind again that the purpose of this writing is not to talk about my self but just to let you know how difficult it is to work for freedom of expression in Afghanistan.

Although up to this moment, some questions are still unresolved for me for instance; when I know that I am threatened to death, is it not foolish to go into the fire on my own feet?

Or if I stay here in Italy will I be able to do all what I did in Kabul? Or at least will I be able to pursue my higher education here in Italy?

Therefore I want your comments and your suggestions and I again invite you to my blog. Please read it frequently and leave your comments on my writings. This, for the purpose of supporting freedom of expression in the emerging democracy of Afghanistan.

God bless you all.

Experiences at EIUC Summer School and Venice Film Festival

The EIUC Summer School on Cinema and Human Rights, held simultaneously with the Venice International Film Festival, is one of the best programs on cinema and human rights. It brings the two fields of study together for a better purpose.

Through this program people from both fields—the film industry and human rights activism—shared their ideas on how to use cinema as a tool for humanitarian purposes.

In addition to the modules taught in this summer school, participants got the chance to meet with different filmmakers, including famous ones such as Ken Loach and Penny Woolcock. It was useful to get to know in-depth their thoughts and very personal experiences in the industry.

Overall the summer school and the festival were very good experiences, especially for the young filmmakers and human rights activists of the countries participating.

Representing Afghanistan’s Deedenow Cinema, Amin Wahidi has learned so much from his summer school and has made many contacts with filmmakers attending the festival.

Deedenow Cinema is thankful to those devoted individuals and organizations that have facilitated Amin Wahidi's participation in the program, namely Robert and Kathryn Maier, George Eimemermann, and the Bayat Foundation.

The summer school was held from August 23 to September 12. The program included participants from Afghanistan, America, Bahrain, Bangladesh, France, Italy, Libera, Nepal, Sweden, Turkey, and Zambia.

At the end of the summer school the participants were given certificates.

Yours sincerely,

M. Amin Wahidi

These may be my last words before I die! (Amin Wahidi's will)

The Taliban are the real symbol of terror without a doubt!

First let me tell you the whole story:

When we talk of terror and intimidation, normally the images of the 9/11 attacks flash in our minds. When we hear the word “Taliban” in our daily terminology, we imagine a bearded, turbaned man beating a poor Borqa-wearing woman with a black cable while holding an AK47 on his shoulder, don’t we? Or maybe many other images of bearded, armed Taliban come to our minds.

What about the use of threats as terrorism? Have you ever heard of this? Have you ever been threatened by an unknown stranger who you have never seen, but who follows you like your shadow?

Well, I have been threatened by unknown emails and phone calls, and I don’t know why.

The latest message that I have received, from an unknown person who I think follows my activities, tells me “to dig my grave when I come back to Afghanistan.”

I do not know why. This unknown person even knows that I am outside of Afghanistan, in Italy. In his mind I became a Christian by traveling to a European country.

Why me as a target?

I think a lot, day and night, about what I have done so wrong that they threaten me. I really cannot find a point or a reason! What have I done wrong? And why me?

There are many big figures that work against the Taliban and terrorists, but I am targeted instead! Who am I? A person who wants to make a film about a Taliban suicide bomber! I am threatened just for this? Oh, I get the answer. It’s very simple! They don’t want me to make the film about the Taliban! They don’t want me to say the Taliban are bad. Indeed, they don’t want me to reveal the black face of Taliban to the world.

I found these answers for the question of why I was threatened. But what do you think I am going to do? Do you think I am going to be afraid of them? No, never! I will do my work and hopefully I will accomplish my goal. Then whatever happens, let it happen.

Because I already believe that being a filmmaker is itself a big risk!

They probably think that if they kill me, there will be no one to make a film about the Taliban, but they are wrong! There are and there will be filmmakers who want to reveal the truth.

Let me tell you more:

It began in early July this year when I received an email entitled, “it is now time to Jihad” from the address almujahid.mujahid@googlemail.com. I ignored it, but later when I posted a new entry in my blog about the murders of journalists in Afghanistan, I again received a threatening comment and email. Then, when posting an entry entitled “Who Dares?”—the entry that introduced my next film, which is about a Taliban suicide bomber—I again received a comment from the same person, “Almujahid,” who was inviting me to join “real” Islam. But I again ignored it.

Once or twice I replied to him through a comment in my blog, but the latest reply I received was a bit shocking for me. It was threatening me and my family, telling me to dig my grave when I come back to Afghanistan. This stone-minded man even knew that I was outside of Afghanistan. I wonder how he knew that I am outside of Afghanistan in Italy.

To read the first message that have I received as a comment in my blog, please click the link below:

https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=4682699493941043431&postID=6413288369942498511

To read the second and third messages that I have received as comments in my blog, please click the link below:

https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=4682699493941043431&postID=2869583819045474245

I have also received emails with the same content.

I am almost lost!

Sometimes I think about my home, in my homeland where I do not feel secure. Then where in the world will I be secure? I think I am totally lost. Where I am from? From the land of violence, the land of killings and threats? Sometimes it confuses me. Most of the characters I create in my screenplays dream about their lives and try to find their desired places in their dreams. Sometimes in the past, while outside of Afghanistan, I myself used to dream of home, where I belonged. But these days, I have no idea where and what to dream about. My dreams are nightmares and frightening images of violence and intimidation come into my mind and I visualize them.

Where is my home?

I am really trying to find out the meaning of home. What is a home? Does it not mean a place where a person or a family can share all their pains and sorrows? Is it not a place where a person should feel safe? Then am I really safe when I am at my home?

As if it has been my lifestyle

Sometimes I feel it must be my lifestyle not to live in my own home, since I was advised to change my sleeping place from night to night when I didn’t feel secure.

It seems as if it is my lifestyle to stay one night in my grandparents' home per week, two nights in academy of arts per week, two nights in my uncle’s home per week and two nights in my home. Or it may be written in my fate, who knows?

Some of my colleagues who did not know about my safety problems and obstacles thought I was miser who didn’t want to spend a lot of money when I always used to come by public buses to my office. I hardly used the taxi to travel from my home to my office since I was advised to travel by public transportation, because of kidnappings and threats that we received.

Bathroom has become my thinking place these days

The only place for me to think about my unclear future is under the shower in the bathroom. I named it Andeshagah, which in Dari means "a place to think in." The only thing I can do in this situation is imprison myself under the shower in the bathroom, to get into the depths of my thoughts. What will I do next week, in two days, tomorrow, or even in two hours?

Afterwards I see I have passed hours there going over my life in-depth.

Now I want your support!

And now, I want the attention of the journalistic and free media associations of the world. I want you to reflect through the media of the world the issue of threats and intimidation against the journalists of Afghanistan. I want you to condemn the threats and intimidation made by the fundamentalists against the journalists and filmmakers of Afghanistan.

I want you to subscribe to my blog by entering your emails in the subscription box, so that you will receive each of the new articles automatically as we post them.

Visit our blog on a frequent basis. I want you all to read my articles and free media reports and leave your comments on them. I want you to give the address of my blog to everyone else interested in the media and cinema of Afghanistan.

I want you to hear our voices and reflect them to the world.

I am strongly committed to my goals

What is going to happen I do not now know, but I am still committed to accomplishing my goals. In any case I am going to do my work, make my films and deliver my message to the people of the world. As it says in Dari, "We are not the willows that tremble by these winds." I am not shocked by these threats into stopping my work, my responsibilities.

I now know why everyone tries to abandon Afghanistan

When I saw people leaving Afghanistan for other countries, I wondered why no one was patriotic and optimistic about Afghanistan. But now I can understand it.

I can feel very clearly why they are abandoning Afghanistan. I can now understand why people leave their lovely homeland to emigrate to other countries.

Where to run and for how long?

But for me, it seems very difficult to run and run my whole life to find a safer place to live in. I am confused about how much longer I am going to be in immigration or exile. I have spent about nine years of my life in immigration. How many more years am I going to be far from home? Where will I find my home? Will it be safer than my own original home? Will it accommodate me as a home? These are the questions that sometimes tinkle in my mind.

I will first accomplish my goals and then die!

But of one thing I am very sure, that first I have to consider my safety as much as possible—as said by God—and then do the things that I have set as the goals of my life. My goals are leave a trace of myself when I die, and to die only after expressing myself to others, when I have transferred my feelings and understanding of the world to others through the lens of cinema.

I want to make the films and to write the stories that I have kept for years and years in my heart, and then I may die.

When I am done with the responsibilities that I have undertaken, then I will have no fear of intimidation and threats! Thus I strictly follow my goals and try to accomplish them.

Therefore, while I am still alive and struggling for freedom of expression in Afghanistan, I will use my second blog, by the title of “Still Alive!” There you can read about my and other journalists’ obstacles as a diary.

--with editorial assistance from Nathan Hartle

“Treasure in the Ruins” screened for critics in Kabul

Amin Wahidi’s new film “Treasure in the Ruins” was screened for critics at the Academy of Art and Cinematic Education on Thursday, August 2, 2007.

Filmmakers and producers also attended the screening, with some guests giving speaches about the film. Attendees included Razi Mohebi, Ali Mohammadi, Soheila Mohebi, Reza Intezar, Ali Haqjo, Ali Hazara Lal, Mohammad Ali Zada, Ali Karimi, Hanif Elham and Abdul Rahim Danish, among others.

Most participants praised the film, calling it one of the best films made by a first-time filmmaker after the fall of the Taliban, and one of the best to deal with the effects of that conflict on children.

The twenty-six minute film tells the story of Homa, a seven-year-old Afghan girl who lives with her brother Homayoon and their ailing, widowed mother in the ruins of post-war Kabul. Inspired by her mother’s stories of a poor young boy’s treasure hunt, Homa goes on her own search through the wreckage for mythical riches. She finds only objects left over from the conflict. As her mother succumbs to tuberculosis from her years as a weaver, Homa burns and buries these remnants of war and destruction.

Aqela Rezayee, a leading Afghan actress who has played in films by the Makhmalbaf Film House, plays Homa’s mother. Glittering in the roles of the children are Asifa Abdul Hussaini, Azizullah Jafari and Metra Wahidi, the director’s younger sister.

Representing the cinema of Afghanistan to an international audience, the film is scheduled for screenings at the EIUC Summer School on Cinema and Human Rights and the 64^th Venice International Film Festival. The Festival will be held on the Venice Lido August 29 to September 8, 2007.

Amin Wahidi plans to direct and produce two films in Afghanistan in 2008. One is a short film entitled “The Great Desire,” and the other is a 60-minute drama entitled “The Keys of Paradise.”

In addition, Wahidi’s organization Deedenow Cinema Filmmaking Production plans to produce 25 short films in 2008-2009, each running between 7 and 15 minutes, dealing with various themes and subjects.

Deedenow presents this as an opportunity for young Afghan filmmakers to get their first (or second) pictures made, and has distributed a call for screenplays. The organization also seeks international co-producers for these films.

editorial assistance- Nathan Hartle

Afghan Film officials skip “Treasure in the Ruins” premiere, threaten censorship

Officials from Afghan Films, a department of Afghanistan’s Ministry of Culture overseeing the film industry, refused an invitation to the Kabul premiere of my film “Treasure in the Ruins.”

This followed a private screening after which these officials noted several objections to the film’s portrayals of Afghan government, religion and culture, and pressured Deedenow to make cuts to certain scenes from the film. The parts objected to include sections of dialogue, as well as scenes of symbolism that I feel gives the film its strength.

Deedenow stands against misunderstanding and baseless censorship. We refuse to cut the film without logical reasons to do so. We have repeatedly extended offers of support and compromise to Afghan Films, including the organization’s president Latif Ahmadi, but Ahmadi is only interested in spreading propaganda and keeping his job.

We regret that Afghan Films, which should be operating in the service of the nation’s film industry, instead acts to discourage young filmmakers and create obstacles to their projects.

Objections to the film included our omission of the spoken name of Allah at the beginning of the film, which the Afghan Films board of review states should precede all films. Instead of Allah’s name, the film opens with the barking of a dog. The board unofficially accused us of insulting Islam with this replacement, but has not yet taken official action.

Afghan Films also objected to a scene in which a soldier guarding the Darull Amaan Palace considers allowing the film’s young female protagonist inside to search for treasure. The board stated that the scene portrays weakness in the Afghan police and military, and therefore should be cut.

A third scene, in which the same young girl buries a number of military badges and metals and burns a picture of former kings, was thought to be insulting to Afghanistan’s national pride and symbols. This is not the case.

Attendance at the film’s premiere numbered more than a hundred, and included filmmakers, critics, artists and media activists, as well as journalists from various publications and television stations. Deedenow is seeking more exposure for the film, sending it to international film festivals as well as screening it within Afghanistan. We will continue to screen the film and stand up for our freedom of speech.

I will write about the corruption within the Afghan film industry in my next article. In this lies the real struggle.

-with editoral assistance from Nathan Hartle