One month of loneliness; being apart from you

A letter to my best friend, guess who is it?

Today is the thirtieth day since you left me, a month passed and the next one came. First the whether changed that was an excuse for every one to leave the city and slowly on the face of the whole city and its surroundings changed; for those who had others, it was the time of joy and happiness when getting together in this period while for me it was a bit irritating when there was no one and nothing to be linked with; I believe even I lost my sight these days or I may have changed the way how I was seeing things; during these nights the city lights were no more as bright as the normal time, during these days nor was the color of sky as blue as it was before and not even at nights the stars blinked at me anymore since this change came or better to say during your absence. One left saying it is too hot these days, the other left and went to rest; this way I was left alone while I didn’t expect you as the only friend to leave me and go to rest in this month as the others do.

You went and I was lost. I thought I had to walk on a new street on the map of life, exactly the same as for the first time I relinquished my mirth, my peace and my everything.

In such period of time, you were the only point I could rely on, through you I could see the world because you played the role of my eyes, and through you I could shout out when I was really in need, but you ignored all these and left me alone in this month.

I know you can not feel my situation to your express your feelings to me therefore I do not blame you instead I blame myself why I could not maintain you.

I know it is useless talking to you, but you should know that; you broke me up when you left me at once because I counted on you a lot but you …

I hope you are hearing my heartbreaking wails, when I am apart from you, away in a corner of loneliness; far from my addresses all in all because of you but I will write you one saying in my language: “winter comes and passes in any case but blackness remains for charcoal for ever”.

Sometimes I wish I were able to keep the seasons in my hand, so they wouldn’t get too hot or too cold. Just all seasons remain like autumn or spring so the temper of surroundings, friends and humans would not change like the seasons.

Some people say, “winter brings friends closer and the summer separate them” but you were not a seasonal friend were you?

Then I change my idea of changing the seasons, why to keep all the seasons the same?! There is no reason for it. Why to interfere the natural system of life when life is meaningful with its all happiness and sadness, tenderness and harshness.
Yeah, then I think life is nice with all its ups and downs otherwise it is a plain and pattern less tiresome road to pass! This last reason is the only thing that makes me cool down and gives me hope to still continue in this boring road. But instead I think I should strengthen myself to bear all these to be able to pass this road safely. What I say may sound crazy, but it is all what comes to my mind late at night.

As I am too sleepy I don’t know what I am writing, however I want to close my eyes to pass the night, perhaps to dream something or to get to the next day so to see something new, whether from the ups or from the downs, but I am sure, soon I am getting to you again, thus I am writing all these.
Now let me sleep, it is already two in the morning!

I will tell your name to every one if you leave me alone once again!